Young and the Restless: A theme park in our own state

So even though I have taken the kids before (albeit half a decade ago) and even though they’ve gone once or twice on school excursions, I often forget that we have a gem of a theme park in our state that is only an easy 90-minute drive from Shepp.

If you don’t yet know about Funfields in Whittlesea (this side of Melbourne), let me introduce you to the place you will find Victoria’s biggest waterslides, measuring nine storeys high.

Funfields holds three world records for three of its waterslides: The Gravity Wave, which is the “World’s biggest, longest and tallest ProSlide Tornado Wave” (it’s more than 27m high and more than 200m long); the “World’s longest ProSlide Kraken Racer”, the first of its kind in Australia and one of only 20 worldwide, at six metres high, 109m long and speeds of up to 60km/h; and the “World’s longest ProSlide CannonBowl slide” — the Typhoon — at a length of 137m and 30km/h speeds.

The newest slide-slash-ride (it’s so much more than “just” a slide) at the park is an $8 million nine-storey high affair called the Supanova, which opened just this season.

It’s quarter of a kilometre of pure adrenaline, with colour effects, positive zero G forces, high-speed banking and a 60-foot funnel.

We took our chances buying tickets for a visit to ride it and all the others on last week’s public holiday, expecting big crowds, long line-ups for rides and limited shady grass space to make a base.

While it was a warm, sunny 30ºC day in Shepp, it was a breezy overcast 22ºC when we arrived in Whittlesea just before 10am — not necessarily conducive to being comfortable in wet bathers all day long.

So even though the weather wasn’t a pleasant surprise, the short line-ups were.

The longest we had to wait to get on any ride all day was 10 minutes.

Luckily, this theme park has plenty of dry options to keep the hoards entertained when you’ve shivered enough and have to get some dry clothes back on.

There’s mini golf, go-karts, a toboggan ride, as well as a plethora of carnival-type rides, including the full 360º-looping, 18m-high Voodoo and the pendulum swinging Blackbeard’s Fury pirate ship ride to thrill the socks off even the most stoic of riders.

Sixty-ish dollars a ticket is great value for money if you get there early and stay all day.

My kids rode the Dragon’s Revenge and pirate ship about eight times each, had about five sessions in the heated wave pool, plus went on several slides and other rides/amusements once or twice.

You would burn through 60 bucks in minutes at a local show or a seaside fair, with rides now between $10 and $15 a pop, so in that respect it’s great value, especially seeing as once you’re in the gate, there’s no need to open your purse for anything else if you pack your own picnic food and drinks.

Of course, there’s always non-essential add-ons available if you feel like splurging for tickets that get you to front-of-ride queues quickly, poolside VIP huts, lockers or food, drinks and showbags.

While it is good value per ticket, to buy four at once did sting a little, which is why I reckon a season pass for the cost of less than two visits would make a great Christmas gift for theme park-loving kids.

I love a good experience-based gift in the stocking, more so than all the material or impractical items.

And this isn’t a one-time experience, this can be used over and over until you’re so waterlogged, you can barely even walk the length of one of the impressive slides on the grounds.

Who needs to go to Queensland when we can slide into fun like this right here in the Garden State?